Arriving home from work, you suddenly hear the phone ringing off the wall. You struggle trying to get the key into what now seems too large to fit in the tiny keyhole. When you finally succeed in unlocking the door, you start running in your home hoping to locate the telephone receiver before the caller hangs up. In your most pleasant voice, even though you're out of breath, you politely say, "hello" and a voice on the other end replies, "May I speak with Ms. So-and-So?"

The caller has mispronounced your last name and you immediately realize it's another telemarketer. Before you are able to settle into your nightly routine, the pitchline begins, "Good evening, I'm calling on behalf of the Coalition of the Black Angus Bull. For only pennies a day, you can help spare a bull by keeping it away from the stock pen. This will allow the bull a long and carefree life grazing on greener grass." Nevermind that the telemarketer is interrupting your routine by shooting the bull your way.

Personally, I like to play "games" with the telemarketers who invade my space. The biggest "game" I ever played was the time I responded to the caller on the other end with an innocent, "Tom, what are you doing? It's great to hear from you." To which the telemarketer replied, "My name is not Tom." Not to be outdone I quickly responded, "I know your voice and I know it's you. You cannot fool me."

Tom is my younger brother who lives 400 miles from me. I spent the next 15 minutes of idle chatter trying to convince this particular telemarketer that he was indeed my brother. I tried to catch up on "family" happenings, but the voice on the other end was slowly fading into the distance. Usually I hang up first but this particular time my "so-called" brother, Tom, slammed the phone in my ear.

First step to avoid this direct invasion of your privacy is to get off the lists. Several states have passed a do-not-call legislation law. To get on the lists in these state, call or log onto:

Alabama: 1-877-727-8200; www.psc.state.al.us Alaska: www.law.state.ak.us/consumer/tele_stop.html Arkansas: 501-682-7383; www.donotcall.org Connecticut: 800-842-2649: www.state.ct.us/dcp/nocall.htm Florida: 850-488-2221; www.800helpfla.com Georgia: 1-877-426-6225; www.ganocall.com Idaho: 800-432-3545; www2.state.id.us/ag Kentucky: 800-671-7701; www.kyattorneygeneral.com/nocall Missouri: 1-866-662-2551; www.ago.state.mo.us/nocalllaw.htm New York: 1-866-622-5569; www.consumer.state.ny.us Oregon: 1-877-700-6622; www.ornocall.com Tennessee: 800-342-8359; www.state.tn.us/tra/nocall.htm

Getting off the lists in these particular states can ensure that you will no longer waste your time answering unwanted phone calls. Me? Sometimes I enjoy receiving the calls because it's a way to use my humor on reluctant callers who interupt my activities of daily living.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jan Sopshier - Circus World
I begin my day sharply at 6:00 a.m. by turning the computer on, reading email, and dashing off to the many forums I frequent. Then it's off to work as a Licensed Practical Nurse in a busy doctor's office where I spend the next 8 hours (usually more). When the day is over I rush home to begin my nightly rituals on my computer.

My dream is to attend the local community college when time permits. More than anything, I would love to take classes in Web Design and HTML. Those classes will teach me the things I want to learn most. I will decide after those classes have been completed in which direction I will take myself. It might have to wait until I retire in the years to come, but I'll wait patiently. After all, the internet adventure for me has just begun!